Elizabeth Gray-King

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When we feel like we're not in control...

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the sense of lack of control many of us are feeling, surrounded as we are by things which are not in our control. Ancient philosophers bequeathed to us the reality that we can put down what we can’t control because if we don’t, not only will our energy in trying to control be depleted, but we’ll be focussing on what can’t be done rather than focussing on what we can do.

I’ve had these conversations quite a few times in the past few weeks and finally, I had to visualise something. Because so much beyond us is beyond our control, many of us seem to be taking that feeling into our personal lives and imagining that we have little control in our home or work lives.  The map I’ve drawn is aimed at work related issues, but is just as easy to imagine for home related issues.  In the yellow circle at the bottom left, where I’ve written line manager/trusted supervisor, think mentor/trusted partner/trusted friend – whomever you know will know you authentically.

The hardest part, and I know this personally, is the Let Go.

How? To me, it has to be physical.  I pick up an object, perhaps whatever is in my hand when I’m thinking about it, name the issue I have to drop, then carefully place the object down and ask God to hold it for me.  If God isn’t for you, you can simply put it down and declare “I now let go of [issue]”.  Shockingly enough, trust me on this.  The tangibility of literally holding a thing then physically putting it down somehow seals the reality of the letting go.  I used to journal the letting go, but then found that I could re-read it in the journal.  Over the past year, I’ve let go with objects to such a degree that I can’t truly recall everything I let go.  Some objects are still around me and I look at them and say to myself – “Oh you!  I let you go.  You no longer weigh inside me.”

So here’s the map.  Have fun!